. I’ve run in countries where there isn’t any roadkill, either because intensive farming techniques have long since eradicated even the faintest folk memory of wildlife, or else because any creature unlucky enough to be run over would be sizzling on a

– at least I was reminded of how ill you can make yourself feel if you really put your mind to it.This long-distance running is a lonely business. Well, actually, it’s not so much the running that’s lonely as the months of advance fretting about it. So

-milers to limber up for the Canal Race?No. Thankfully, I’ve found that the most effective training for long-distance events is to talk about them a lot. It’s simply not feasible to run the required number of miles, but you can log up many valuable

positive. Just shut up and run.–Bloody, sodding cat…Anyway, I can no longer resist the Call of the Heath, so I’m off to put in my final long one before the Marathon.Last month I was sober. This month I’m sober… and unemployed. Next month, no doubt I

resemblance to hell. They’ve come up with the Air and Tenere Deserts in Niger. (How, one wonders, do you tell where the Air ends and the Tenere begins?) And Seaton, in his long-running campaign to raise RW’s circulation by getting me to die in mid-run, has put

the Highgate Harriers’ long Sunday run, ooh, 20 years ago, with a gay Grief Counsellor who cared for the relatives of young men who were dying of AIDS.As we reached the final three-mile stretch, I was completely shagged out. But he dug in and accelerated

As I once remarked to Rob Wright, a founder member of Numbskulls AC, “You know, running is a mental thing.” He nodded vigorously. “It certainly is, mate. Do you remember the Nude Year’s Eve Triathlon when we had to break the ice on Regent’s Park

while I defended my decision to move to the country. They even waited for the dog while he sexually assaulted a golden retriever in the long grass – a weekly occurrence throughout my long association with the geriatric wing of the Harriers. It was a

, according to a recent survey of RUNNER’S WORLD readers, I’m slightly less popular than Glenn Hoddle.Last month my running had descended to an all-time low. While training in the Peak District I was overtaken by a large boulder. I was deeply shocked

This week, I pulled out of the Trans 333 – the desert race that I’ve been banging on about for months. Why? It’s a long story. At the last minute, the race venue was switched from Niger to Mauritania. And I won’t run in Mauritania. Well, not so much